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Modern life is full of strife

Vic Barlow
27/ 9/2006

FOR MONTHS now I've hardly been able to sleep wondering what would happen to Pluto. It's put a terrible strain on our marriage. Mrs B worries about trivia like council tax, the size of our mortgage and whether we can pay the bills while I agonise over the fate of Pluto.

I can't stand by and let them eliminate Pluto who knows where it will end? Before you know it there'll be no Popeye, no Olive Oil, no Pixie, no Dixie.

Life seems to be full of strife at present with civil servants, postal workers, prison officers and baggage handlers all threatening industrial action.

Now, we may be able to limp by without town hall personnel and postmen but what terrifies me is the threat of strike action by ordnance survey staff. How will we survive without knowing the elevation of Tegg's Nose or the grid reference for Wilmslow Police Station?

Take my word, lightning strikes by ordnance survey staff would be devastating. Just imagine wandering through a field one day and stumbling across a stream that doesn't even appear on the map. No wonder topographers wield so much power.

• THE views expressed on this page are those of Vic Barlow and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Express.