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Why would sat-nav theft throw us off course?

Vic Barlow
30/ 8/2006

I WAS interested to read that a Sat-Nav system had been snatched from the open window of a car parked on London Road, Macclesfield.

Considering the lamentable lack of resources within Cheshire Constabulary I do believe I can save them some valuable time.

Rather than comb the streets looking for the culprit might I suggest they simply park up in some inaccessible country lane, preferably one with a ford deep enough to swamp a Bostock's bus. Then look for a bewildered driver... he's your man.

I was the surprised benefactor of one such gift last Christmas, since when I have visited highways and byways I never knew existed.

My personal system believes the quickest route from Macclesfield to Alderley Edge is via a dairy farm in Bosley.

I've heard of a sleepy country café near Leek that has quadrupled its trade since Sat-Nav diverted traffic off the A523 straight past its door. I haven't personally stopped there but I'm told it's been transformed from a deserted greasy spoon into a scene from The Rocky Horror Show.

I recall my parents loved coach trips described as 'mystery tours', I now have my own on a daily basis courtesy of Tom-Tom.

Far from congratulating himself at the audacity of his deed, I suspect the thief will rue the day he stole a Sat-Nav. I never discovered who bought me mine but I do know Macclesfield Borough Council had a whip round for me and didn't quite have enough for a hit man.

• THE views expressed on this page are those of Vic Barlow and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Express.