Barlow's brief

| Submit CommentSubmit Comments | View CommentsView Comments(2)

advertisement

Don’t give up, our councillors are alive!

Vic Barlow
23/ 8/2006

I DO GET tired of misleading surveys: house prices are down, unemployment's up, inflation's heading for double figures, etc, and now the latest statistics suggest over 160,000 letters each year are delivered to dead people in Macclesfield.

No! No! No! Those are not 'dead people' those are councillors - Tory councillors to be precise. They may look dead but I can assure you they are (almost) alive.

Whether or not a competent coroner would detect sufficient brain activity to concur is irrelevant.

In a borough more likely to vote Al Qaeda than Labour, electing a decomposing Tory is the preferred option. Why, some have even been known to wake up during council meetings.

So please, if we must have a survey, let's have it right.

Letters sent to Macclesfield Tory councillors should NOT be regarded as a dead loss.

Here are a few handy tips to ensure the letter sent to your Tory councillor is read:-

  • Don't do joined-up writing.
  • Use CAPITAL letters
  • Do not seal (licked envelopes can be difficult to open)
  • Keep it short
  • Scent the envelope with Sanatogen.
  • Send it 'c/o The Nurse.'

There, now that's settled, it's time for cocoa.

THE views expressed on this page are those of Vic Barlow and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Express.


| Submit CommentSubmit Comments | View CommentsView Comments(2)


Most recent 2 of 2 user comments

   vic i can truly say your definatlely from macclesfield!
Nick Wallwork, henley on thames/oxfordshire
28/08/2006 at 22:34
   Very funny Vic. You've summed it up very well.
Arthur, Macclesfield
23/08/2006 at 15:21
Have your say
 
Have your say Got an opinion you want to share?
Register now and have your comments heard.

Register now


 
Personal Finance
 

Customers with a 'good' credit profile
Company Typical APR
Platinum Exclusive Loan 7.8%
Bank of Scotland (Semi-exclusive) 8.6%
Halifax (Semi-exclusive) 8.6%
Alliance & Leicester 8.7%
Sainsbury's Personal Loan 8.9%
HASH(0x2b600fb55280)
Provider AER*
ICICI BANK
HiSAVE Savings Account 		5.50%

HASH(0x2b600fb55370) 		HASH(0x2b600feebf90)
FIRST DIRECT
Everyday e-Saver 		2.75%
ALLIANCE & LEICESTER
Online Tracker 		6.00%
ABBEY
Instant Access Saver (Special Issue 2) 		6.00%
ING DIRECT
Savings Account 		6.00%
ALLIANCE & LEICESTER
eSaver - Issue 2 		6.30%
ABBEY
eSaver Direct 		6.00%

HASH(0x2b600fb2e8e0) 		HASH(0x2b600f16eea0)
POST OFFICE
Instant Saver 		3.75%
Fees may apply