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Just how do you engineer this mess?

Vic Barlow
9/ 8/2006

THERE was a row of coaches waiting outside Macclesfield station this morning; always an ominous sign.

I promise you the following is an accurate word-by-word account of my conversation at the ticket window.

"Are those coaches for Wilmslow passengers?"

"No, they are covering the weekend engineering work," a smart young Virgin lady informed me.

"Do they need a coach?"

"Who?"

"The engineers."

" No, of course not. The coaches are for passengers?"

"Why, is the engineering work ongoing?"

"No, it never started."

"So, why do we need coaches?"

"Just in case it overruns."

"What overruns?"

"The weekend engineering work."

"Which they didn't do?"

"Correct."

"So, let me get this right. There's a row of coaches standing outside the station just in case the work the engineers didn't start isn't finished?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Well, why didn't Virgin save themselves money and inform the coach company their services were not required."

"Because if they had done and the engineers that didn't turn up turned up and didn't finish the work they didn't do the passengers who don't now need coaches wouldn't have had any."

Now, normally I would use such a priceless exchange as material for my column but as she was a lovely looking girl who clearly fancied me I've decided to keep our conversation private.

Who knows... we might end up sharing a weekend saver?

• THE views expressed on this page are those of Vic Barlow and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Express.