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Nothing in Macc can surprise me
Vic Barlow19/ 4/2006
WHEN people ask how I find stories every week for my column they obviously don't live locally.
They've never been transfixed by the site of Cheshire Police's road safety trailer hurtling down the steepest cobbled street in the county after bobbies forgot to apply the brake; or stunned when said trailer destroyed the oldest cycle shop in Britain smack-bang in the middle of the Cheshire Bikeathon.
A gang of criminals dressed as midwives or a ladies barber's shop quartet with FORTY members must be alien to them.
Having a 'pet' Russian rat snake follow them to work or seeing the mascot of their local football team arrested for fighting with another cartoon character are pleasures they have yet to experience.
They may not know how a relationship can be 'rekindled' by flinging a baby's pram through a plate-glass window or how an unprovoked attack by a neighbour can be proved by showing photographs of one's testicles in court.
They probably don't have a council that bans butchers' vans from the town centre and replaces them with army tanks or an MP who has attended every local function for three decades without buying a drink.
But of one thing they will be certain. Razor sharp instruments should be kept well away from one's vital organs - a small point overlooked by the man who appeared at magistrates in Knutsford for stuffing a chisel down his shorts.
I have no idea what motivated him to commit this act of genital suicide but it comes as no surprise to learn that... he lives in Macc.
- THE views expressed on this page are those of Vic Barlow and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Express.
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20/04/2006 at 13:26
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what i want to know is this..
traffic management in macclesfield, will it ever happen??
road surface improvement in macclesfield, will it ever happen??
useful police service in macclesfield, will it ever happen??
council that actually listens to the users of it's awful services, will it ever happen??
council that actually delivers at least some of the services it commits to provide, will it ever happen??
bin men that dont empty my neighbours litter onto the road outside my home before leaving, will they ever be recruited??
dog poo, broken glass, needle sticks, used condoms and litter removal from beck lane football pitch which my U/11s attempt to play footy on every saturday, if it's not too flooded that is...will it ever happen unless I do it myself??
proper clubs and services for the youth of this town to be a part of instead of hangin about on the streets in hoodies scarin old ladies or tearing up the above mentioned football field on quads and mini motos whilst smokin a J
Whats it going to take to get some of these issues sorted, if it's more council tax revenue then the council need to be up front, not palm us all off with a second sorry third rate service and than laud themslves for being great
25/04/2006 at 13:29