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HOW the Daily Mail depicted the demonstrators.
The art of taking offence
Vic Barlow15/ 2/2006
I DEMAND the right to be offended. Don't ask me what about, I haven't decided yet. I just want to take offence. In an era when everyone takes umbrage against anything I feel like I'm missing out.
American comedians always depict Brits with really bad teeth and I laugh when I should be heckling.
The French never lose an opportunity to criticise our food but I'm too busy eating theirs to complain.
The Australians refer to us as 'whinging poms' and I take it as a joke. What's wrong with me?
It's impossible to write anything supportive of the disabled without receiving a complaint about some perceived derogatory nuance.
Back in the Seventies when I had a nervous breakdown the only relief I got was when my mates called and took the mickey. I realise now instead of laughing at their stupid antics I should have sued.
If fanatics can parade through our capital threatening to kill us all for the insult caused by a religious cartoon how mad should I be when people burn our national flag?
I can certainly take offence at the suggestion that Christmas be replaced by some generic holiday.
Does no-one care about my sensitivities? And what about the inhumane slaughter of animals to satisfy the beliefs of others, shouldn't I be offended?
Maybe I should have someone take offence on my behalf? Seems like any minority group that doesn't feel the slightest bit offended has some busybody eager to take offence for them. How cool is that?
Maybe, somewhere in Africa, there are people raising Cain about the stereotypical depiction of Brits in their local paper? You'd like to think so wouldn't you?
Convicted thugs often burst into the Express office complaining about the reporting of their trial.
No matter they have robbed a granny, kicked a policeman or beaten an innocent bystander senseless they demand a retraction. It's the art of being miffed. That's what I need to learn.
So, sometime this year, probably around Easter, I aim to be offended. If Macclesfield Borough Council try to get me fired (as they have done in the past) or some developer has their solicitor send me another threatening letter I don't intend to turn the other cheek.
This time I shall be deeply offended. I shall call them 'racist, sexist or phobic' (I haven't decided yet). I shall start an action group for those not easily offended and sign all my letters 'Angry of Macclesfield'.
- THE views expressed on this page are those of Vic Barlow and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Express.
Most recent 2 of 2 user comments
what a fantastic article. I for one am 1000% behind you in your statements, fantastic.!!!
23/02/2006 at 12:56
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Does Macclesfield --nay, does the World-- appreciate what a genius they have in their midst? Know Ye that anyone --like Vic Barlow (and me!)-- who can come up with that concept "The Art of Taking Offence" has put their finger on the epicenter of what ails our poor world. Just imagine an alternate world of 2006 where we all --individuals and groups and countries, and especially those sorry peeves of leaders-- gave up choosing to be offended....
Wake up, you poor dumb Macclesfeldeans (No Offence) and acclaim the Great One Among You!
Malachi McCormick, Staten Island, New York (author of the best-selling, not-yet-written "How to Fake Being Provoked")
17/09/2006 at 00:17