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And here is the weather

Vic Barlow
31/ 3/2004

Here is the long-range weather forecast for Macclesfield, Wilmslow and surrounding areas...

Alex Ferguson gloomy with periods of rage followed by deep depression over Rio. David Parr clearing rapidly with sunny spells over Dane Moss. Towards June a period of high pressure is expected with widespread electioneering from the scattered shower gathering at Macclesfield Town Hall.

Visibility of Cheshire Police will be low clearing to zero with complaints in many local areas resulting in a widespread frost from Penny Wilson and outrage over high ground, (so delay planting those new ideas until later in the year).

Squabbles over the by-pass will continue followed by argument and litigation. Clouds are expected over Frank Keegan, which are unlikely to clear.

An unusual stream of hot air is anticipated over council house sales in autumn and while promises will be warm and sunny it will feel cooler after the vote.

The general synopsis is hilarious turning to shambolic later in the year.

• The views expressed on this page are those of Vic Barlow and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Express.