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Barlow's brief

| Submit Comments | Comments (25) |

If you have to jog, get a dog

Vic Barlow

June 10, 2009

HAVE you noticed how many women are out jogging the streets before dawn? What’s going on?

I know brides-to-be like to work out so their big day isn’t quite so big, but they can’t all be planning nuptials. And what are they listening to on those iPods? I bet it’s not Ave Maria, more like Paul McKenna’s hypnotic promise to "make you thin" before rushing back home for two grams of muesli.

I see women pounding the pavement in the pitch dark. They could be slimming down for their summer hols, but (thank God) not everyone can be a stick insect like Posh Spice (pictured below).

Look girls, if your partner doesn’t appreciate you the way you are, don’t change your diet – change your man. Life’s hard enough, especially for working mums, without pounding the streets at the crack of dawn like Rocky Balboa.

At least join a nice gym; have a quick run on the treadmill then nip off to the spa. If your bloke wants a doll, buy him an inflatable.

What’s the betting those girls out pounding the pavement have boyfriends boozing themselves into a stupor at some beer festival?

Skip the lone jogging – it’s not big and it’s not clever. If you want to burn up the calories and have a partner who loves you regardless – get a dog.

The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express

| Submit Comments | Comments (25) |

Most recent user comments 25 of 25

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Percy. Accepted thanks.

Oldies is ok.

mogangirl,
17/06/2009 at 03:03

What, makes you think that the only reason they are jogging is to get a man?

Lol at mac moan.

slinkywizard, Macclesfield
16/06/2009 at 10:09

Sorry mogangirl, I wasnt trying to offend, more trying to make the point that sexism, ageism or any form of discrimation is not really acceptable or funny.

Percy, Australia
16/06/2009 at 00:35

Theres nowt up with us Geriatrics, and if I didnt have such a arthritic hip id give you lot a kick up the backside

mac moan, macclesfield
15/06/2009 at 17:22

We are not all doddering geriatrics. All that he has done a make a statements of fact. Have a look at all the women who seem to be complying with the jogging syndrome. Makes you think.

L.T.,
15/06/2009 at 12:51

What next, Vic? Are you going to bemoan women's driving skills next or is this a shameless plug for your dog training activities?

Macc Man,
15/06/2009 at 11:56

Percy Geriatrics? leave it out labelling. older persons if you please!!!

mogangirl,
15/06/2009 at 02:03

100% agree with you Slinky, aside from the forward thinking mogangirl, it is obvious there is a generational gap between those that find the article offensive (the non geriatrics) and the geriatrics who don't find the article offensive.

And please no outrage from the OAP's if you are ok with outright sexism then don't be getting on your high horse over a bit if ageism.

Percy, Australia
13/06/2009 at 07:00

One has to wonder why Mr. Barlow is prowling the streets before dawn...

MaccForum.co.uk,
13/06/2009 at 04:14

Vic, I foolishly took your advice and asked my Doris for a doll. Must admit it didnt go down very well with her. Anymore clever ideas !!

mac moan, macclesfield
12/06/2009 at 20:52

Hey! Slinky i am over 60,And not old fashioned thinking at all. But i forgive you that one.

The trouble with folkes who have never left Macclesfield or anywhere else for that matter or been anywhere or done anything in there lives. Is that they can not take the changes in people or accept the new. They have to slag people off and make things up about them, people and things they do not understand. I say leave people alone live and let live as long as they are not doing anybody else any harm. The only thing i have to say about these celebrities is that they would not be where they were and have the ridiculous sums of payment they have if the masses did not worship them. And newspapers and reporters make themselves look ridiculous, nasty, and cruel, by reporting and photographing them when they have a wardrobe malfunction as they call it these days. Decent people would just tell them to save themselves embarrassment, not splash it all over news papers for the masses to oggle at and ridicule them, It amazes me just what the press will resort to these day just to sell newspapers. Do they think that we are all sniggering and laughing like school kids at these embarrasing photographs at these celebrities expense?? No we oldies are just disgusted that it is in print thats all, It lowers the tone of any publication when they only have this news to tell and picture.

mogangirl,
12/06/2009 at 13:32

Read and enjoy. You could be dead tomorrow.

E.T., Macclesfield
12/06/2009 at 12:25

Slinky, I think it is only one but with 60 names!

MaccSpider, Support Simon Singh: http://www.senseaboutscience.org.uk/index.php/site/project/340
12/06/2009 at 11:49

"O.M.G. have some of you people not heard of Satire. I am told it could catch on, as a form of humour. Please people have your humour glands over hauled."

This is not satire.

It is interesting that so often people, when they have been challenged over poor taste or obnoxious comment, try to make out that it is the offended who is at fault. We see the same from racists, sexists and so on so often.

I wonder if the Vic apologists (in all their many chosen names personas) would react the same way if we started making jokes about the size of their manhood, their looks, their baldness or similar......

MaccSpider, Support Simon Singh: http://www.senseaboutscience.org.uk/index.php/site/project/340
12/06/2009 at 10:42

You have to think like Vic to find this funny, I do not, this is 30 years out of date, out of step with modern life, lapped up by some.

I would put money on each one being over 60.

Its a generation thing.

Dinosaur humour, Vic this is shameful.

slinkywizard, Macclesfield
12/06/2009 at 10:06

O.M.G. have some of you people not heard of Satire. I am told it could catch on, as a form of humour. Please people have your humour glands over hauled.

L.T.,
12/06/2009 at 08:59

This is a truly awful article in so many ways.

The blatant sexism and use of crude and thoughtless stereotyping are obnoxious. Frankly, both Vic and the Express should be ashamed of themselves for writing and printing an article that simply insults so many of their readers in what looks like an attempt to raise a few cheap laughs.

What is also rather a pity is that the sock puppets can never, ever find it in themselves to criticise Vic here; everything he says seems to have the status of words from a prophet for them.

MaccSpider, Support Simon Singh: http://www.senseaboutscience.org.uk/index.php/site/project/340
12/06/2009 at 07:58

Considering some of the things that a lot of you come out with you are easily offended.

I believe that Posh does not jog, she has someone to do it for her.

Jonty,
12/06/2009 at 00:53

Some people are very touchy, come on lighten up it is an opinion. Have you seen some of the joggers round Macclesfield, orange skinned bimbo's with ipod accessories. Yuk.

Old Sailor, Macclesfield Via Elgin
11/06/2009 at 18:45

I dont think this is funny at all. jogging is one way of excersize. There is a woman who does this past my house every morning when she comes to stay in her house here. 3 times a year from Holland. SHE DOES have a man a husband and very happy she is as well.He actualy sometimes joins her. Its ridiculous to make out that women who Jog are doing it to keep men happy.

What kind of man thinks like this about women?? Only a male chauvanist pig!!

mogangirl,
11/06/2009 at 12:15

Mr Percy not everyone has the same opinion as you. I for one, and I am sure many others, thouroughly enjoy these articles.

This one had me in tucks as it is so realistic of what we can see on a daily basis.

The ipod jogger a new breed, God bless them.

DorothyM, Macclesfield
11/06/2009 at 12:01

I'd suggest this article is highly offensive to women on many levels and I am surprised this it was published.

Time to hand over the reigns Vic I am afraid.

Percy, Australia
11/06/2009 at 04:37

Its like looking into the mind of someone from the Dark Ages. Vic, this is one of the most ridiculous pieces you have ever written. Go and have a lie down.

The Satisfied Customer,
11/06/2009 at 04:35

Very funny and how true.

Eric T, Macclesfield
10/06/2009 at 16:05

good afternoon everyone and welcome to a new week, I like Vic completely understand that every lady jogger is of course jogging so she can get the attention of a male, not a single female jogger will be jogging to keep themselves fit, after all don't all women spend 100% of their time thinking of how to get a man?.

This sexist drivel is not even funny.