I JUST loved that story of the Billericay couple that discovered their local cash machine dispensed money to overdrawn customers without recording the transaction.

Over a 12-week period Joanne and Darren Jones squirreled away over £60K from the faulty machine without the bank having any idea.

‘No idea’ – isn’t that the same excuse offered by Lord Myners when bank moguls helped themselves to large dollops of our cash?

I fail to see how financial institutions can complain when customers follow their example.

I’ve asked my bank to come and see me.

I want to express my concern about their breach of borrowing limits for which I feel compelled to charge a punitive rate of interest.

I shall, of course be unavailable when they call but I’ve given a premium rate number where they can phone me, well not me personally but a pal in India who won’t really know what he’s doing but I’ve e-mailed a script he can read from.

I’ve instructed him to interrupt every sixty seconds and ask: "Is there anything else I can help you with?" without actually helping at all.

I’ve also suggested he send the bank a threatening letter devoid of any e-mail or return address signed by a non-existent employee.

Then, I too shall look for a (let’s call it ‘fair’ rather than ‘faulty’) cash machine where I can extract my bonus.

It won’t make up for the billions the banks have taken from us but hey, every little helps.

NB: On my calculations every cash machine in the country would have to dispense free cash for a month just to claw back bonuses dished out to failed bankers.

The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express