I LOVE the idea of converting Wilmslow’s Newgate tip into a country park. In fact I’d call it brilliant.

Where better to take the kids for a Sunday stroll?

In fact why not make it an official campsite?

I can just hear the strains of Ging, Gang, Gooley, Gooley drifting on the methane.

"Is it true, Skip, this was a burial ground for the Raleighs?"

"That’s right, Tom, and the Rudges, plus lots of other old bikes you won’t remember."

"Brown Owl says everyone who camps here gets a red hat?"

"I think you’ll find it’s a dead rat, Susan."

Forget Dane Moss, undoubtedly the most natural country park in the borough, we’ll concrete over that and build a new country park on a toxic dump.

If I ever get around to writing another book I’ll definitely include Newgate tip.

In fact, I’ll make it Chapter One: The Toxic Trail… where we discover Pooh.

I’m laughing and I’m writing it.

The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express