NO SOONER had I recovered from the bombshell of hearing our elected representatives referring to female Aldermen as Aldermen (can you believe it?) than I was torn asunder by the momentous quandary of who should attend the mayor’s farewell bash.

Forget botched redevelopment plans, upheaval on the roads, redundancies and home repossessions – the mayoral banquet was serious stuff. Who to send…mayor or deputy? It was all so stressful and yes, it was a major issue when the alternative was attending a local concert.

I couldn’t sleep for days…I mean nights, and Mrs B fairly had the vapours. I’m glad it wasn’t us who had to make that daunting decision. It’s the repercussions you see.

Do you wear a big hat or a pillbox? Will other mayors have longer chains than yours?

If you don’t go to the ball, are you seen as Cinderella?

Does that make Councillor Keegan Buttons? Will King Wes be miffed if you snub the concert? Will the deputy shoot the sheriff for not inviting her?

Oh, the agony of it all.

Makes you glad you don’t have such overwhelming responsibilities.

The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express