Sir Nick says he is ‘furious’ that he should be expected to stand when there are no seats. Good, God, we can’t have that.

Following a recent armed robbery in Bollington, Detective Sergeant Madden said: "Incidents like this are rare."

God only knows how he found the patience to deal with the colourful array of callers dumping pets at the door, but Frank didn’t judge people, he cared for animals.

They’d discuss union business while I ate my tea or did homework, so I grew up with the jargon of shop floor politics.

I’ve conscientiously read your letters, messages and e-mails endeavouring wherever possible to air your grievances or promote your cause. (I hadn’t realised just how saint-like I’ve been.) Now it’s your turn.

According to Cheshire Police Darren Carnochan, Macclesfield’s most prolific burglar, whose crime spree spans two decades, was finally brought to justice when a judge jailed him for two years at Chester Crown Court. Sounds like a fair result and a victory for law and order until you discover that Mr Carnochan is a heroin addict committing crimes to fund his addiction.

"Of course I do," I lied.

With 7,500 personnel employed across sites in Macclesfield and Alderley the continuous downsizing effects everyone not least, those smaller private businesses supplying the company and its staff with goods and services.

Treo returns from Afghanistan where he served as a forward detection dog sniffing out explosives left by the Taliban. In 2008 he was named Finest Armed Forces Dog by the Sun newspaper but it could have all been so different. In his adolescence Treo was in danger of being put down for his unruly behaviour only to find redemption in the Army with discipline, training and a real purpose.

While I was waiting I bought a fridge freezer on line and saw Britain jump clear out of recession with a tenth of one per cent growth rate. I cancelled the freezer and watched as Britain plunge back into recession. Over the next half hour I had us into and out of recession six times. I did it once with the purchase of a sofa, had I bought the matching armchairs I’d have doubled Britain’s official UK growth rate.

Meanwhile, Erika Hasler, a 44 year-old single mum, has been ordered to repay £29k of incorrectly claimed benefits and has been given a suspended jail sentence. In her case her actions were of course ‘fraudulent’, while MPs merely made a mistake. So that’s okay.

The sham that was the Conservative Party selection process clearly indicated a belief that Maxonians would vote for anything wearing a blue rosette.

My dog truck looked a mite out of place alongside the Ferraris and Bentleys so I parked down a side street and did some stretching exercises as I jogged back.

Ms Nadone told me she was a single mum with two young sons, one severely disabled. She was being targeted by certain families on her estate after reporting episodes of anti-social behaviour. Mutilated birds and squirrels were hung from her car, a brick tossed through the bedroom window of her disabled son, and her other child driven to thoughts of suicide.

Councils rule by the Law of Least Resistance, for example Tesco take the gold, small shopkeepers get the shaft – that’s the way it works. It’s not official policy, but that’s the way things generally work out. Big boys scare them, little boys don’t.